Apparently Smartie is feeling neglected these days, although I don’t see how. She comes to work with me at some point every day (without her siblings). I haven’t been blatantly ignoring her, that I’m aware of. Guess she had other ideas.
In my house, I’m happy when the kids are quiet. Yes, I know in the back of my mind that they must be up to something, but I lie and tell myself they’re little angels. I checked in on Smartie in her room. She was coloring and watching a movie. Awesome! Cookie’s playing with Peabody. Check! CoolTeen’s in his room with his friend. 3 in a row. Woohoo!
I decided to make some chicken and vegetable soup – just what I’ve been craving lately. I know it’s been 100+ degrees every day in Texas, but I still wanted soup. Hey – I’m not making you eat it, so shove it.
Back to Smartie. I’m waiting for the soup to finish, and she strolls out with some scissors and hands them to Peabody. Unusual for her, since she lives to cut paper up in a billion pieces. Guess she was trying to hit a new high, and instead decided to mangle her hair. As you can imagine, lovely was the first word that came to my mind (right after holy hell). If she could’ve picked a more perfect way to cut it though, I’d be stunned. She actually did a pretty good job. She cut all the long bangs and hair on one side, so it looks like it’s layered. Fortunately she still has some hair left and looks decent.
Then I notice she’s not wearing underwear. That always leads to something good and decent, right? Not in my house. I’m informed that she was too busy cutting her hair to stop and get to the potty, so she just peed in place. Really? So nice of you. So polite. Where did you go to finishing school? Who has time to piss these days anyhow? Not me.The only thing she was lacking was a chicken foot, and she would’ve had a hoodoo gig set up.
Watch your chickens, people.