Monday, September 15, 2008

Kids say stupid crap sometimes.... (01.03.08)

I'm not excluding myself from this topic, because I say stupid things every time I open my mouth. Apparently my children have followed suit.

Last night I'd just finished eating a hamburger when Smartie said, "Mom! I wanted a hamburger too!" I told her she should've said something before I inhaled the entire thing. I would've shared (a little). Then she asked me, "Where did you hide it? In your hips?" EX-CUSE MEH? My hips? What hips? Where did she hear something like that?!?!?! I asked her who told her I had big hips. She said, "Aunt Sharon." I somehow doubt that's true.

CoolTeen also has a way with words. He's also in that "stage" know - 6th grade, having those stupid sex talks, etc. So I'm putting away baby food in the cabinet, when CoolTeen points and yells, "Holy crap, mom! What are those? Condoms?!?!?!?!" I'm appalled my baby even knows the word, much less know what they could possibly look like. My 2nd thought was what idiot put condoms in with the baby food, and where did they come from. I turn my head to see that Q is pointing at the box of baby bottle liners. Now, without saying too much, these suckers are 8 oz. They also expand in the middle to hold 10 oz. What kind of jacked-up giant on the beanstalk would need such a commodity I ask you? Seriously? Wouldn't that be like elphantitis or something? You might be able to sign up for Guinness Book with such a thing! I couldn't even begin to imagine. I ask CoolTeen, "How do you know what those are?", which was answered with a "I know more than you think I do, Mom." Great. Whatever. I proceeded to tell him he better not ever need such an instrument until he was at least 55. He complains and says "Holy crap, Mom! I can't even have kids? I don't want to be 90 when my kids are 20!!!!!"

Good point.Ahhhh....out of the mouths of babes. I'm so glad Cookie can only say a few. :)

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