Monday, September 15, 2008

Conversation with a State Trooper (01.02.08)

Today I had a conversation with a State Trooper. It went a little something like this:

"Hi M'am. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"Yes sir. I was speeding." (Grinning from ear to ear.)
"Do you have some sort of medical emergency?
"Well, it's not really an emergency, but I AM going to the gastro doctor right now. See? Here's my paper." (Smiling and showing him papers.)
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"Well, to be honest I wasn't looking at the speedometer, but I'm going to jump out there and guess 70."
"Yes m'am. You were clocked at 71."
"Ooooh, see! I told you, I'm pretty good at that guessing stuff. I was right on the mark!"
"May I have your license and insurance please?"
"Sure, here they are."
"M'am, your insurance is expired. Do you have another form in there somewhere?"
"Well, I probably do, but I don't want to look for it right now. If you want you can follow me to my Mom's house. She lives just down the street and I can print you out one there."
"That's okay, m'am. Just give me a second."

I wait in the car, feeling chipper, just knowing that I'll get out of this ticket. And I did. He comes back to the car, and the following takes place:

"M'am, I'm not going to give you a ticket for the speeding, but you will need to go to the court and show the judge your insurance."
"Why thanks, officer. See, I was speeding because I'm going to the gastro doc, and I want to get out of there as fast as possible. IF you know what I mean." (followed by laughter)
"M'am, I don't want to hear any more about your doctor's appointment today."
"Don't you think it's a good way to start out the new year?"
"Well, yes, I guess so. I hope everything turns out ok."
"Thanks, officer. Have a great day!"

He laughed quite a bit, but I think he was ready to vomit by the time he got back to his car.Now guess what? For saying all that (because I was truly going to the gastro doc, I get repaid by getting to have a colonoscopy on the 28th of January. Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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