Monday, September 15, 2008

It was just a trip to the pet store!!!! (01.29.08)

In my life, I've said I wouldn't go to a few select places Chuck E. Cheese's (after the vomiting pants incident), or Braum's (after my insane-o-pregnant-meltdown). I can now add the pet store to the list.

I've always loved the pet store...just to stop by, look at the animals, play with the kids (not strangers own), etc. So, yesterday - when Smartie asked me to take her there, I thought it sounded like a good idea.

CoolTeen, Smartie, Cookie and I piled in the car and off we went. We played with the hamsters first. Smartie insisted on holding one, which may have been easier if I didn't have to catch it with one hand, while making sure not to drop Cookie. After getting a hold of the little sucker, I handed it over to Smartie, where she promptly let it fall on the floor. This was a good 3 foot drop, so I'm sure he suffered a traumatic brain injury of some sort. I scooped him up and tossed him back in the cage before he started Not funny, but it was funny.

Off to the dogs we went! The girls were cleaning out cages, so we got to play with nearly every dog there. There happened to be an English Mastiff...not as cute as mine, but cute anyhow. It took off running after another employee, but spotted Cookie on the way, and ended up scratching her face all up. Strike 2.

Smartie was now yelling that she needed to hold a bird. Of course she picked out the meanest bird in the cage, and just HAD to hold THAT ONE. I finally caught the demon-bird, when he proceeded to bite and flog me with his Evil birds, straight from the depths of hell. I just let go and he flew down in the pit of other evil bird-friends. Strike 3.

Technically, 3 strikes and you're out. But we weren't finished with this game...oh no! I was getting hot, irritated, sweating from lugging Cookie around and yelling at kids to quit touching that, and stop doing that. We went back to the hamsters for one final look. Smartie begged to have another try at holding one. I find one that looks cute and is sleeping, reach my hand down, and AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! Screamed like a flipping girl right in the pet store. The stupid hamster lobbed on to my finger. I got so mad, that I pointed at the hamster, told him how lame I thought he was, and then gave him a gentle thump. Unfortunately some guy and his kid had just walked up behind me, and saw the alleged thumping incident. Piss. Strike 4.

We move to the bunny cage, the next one over, and the kid that was with his dad bends over the hamster cage and says, "Hey Dad! I wonder what would happen if I fell in there with them?" Like the parent of the year, I laughed and said, "They'd probably eat you alive!" I laughed. Surely they knew I was joking, pretty much. Guess not. People just don't have a sense of humor these days.

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