A Crappy Story, A Ponderance of Puke, A Fable of Fever?

Part Uno

Before I get to the good stuff, I’m sure you noticed I baled on the promise of writing every day in November…since it IS November 3rd, and today’s the first day of posting. But I have a pretty good excuse. I mean, it’s no “dog ate my homework”, but a real, valid, excuse. Take it or don’t. I don’t care.

Ahhh glorious Thursday! Practically Friday, and I’m happy. Cookie decided to have diarrhea that morning before school, but it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing I couldn’t handle (Now Peabody? That’s another story.) Took her to school, where she was THE cutest scarecrow I’ve ever personally seen. She made it through the day playing and having fun. When I went to get her out at 2:30, I noticed she was wearing a different outfit. I felt so fortunate to have missed the diarrhea scandal that had gone down 5 minutes before! Apparently she could’ve won a contest for crapping at that point….out of the diaper, down the legs, on the clothes, etc. That’s my girl!

A few hours later it was time to take Smartie to gymnastics. We dropped her off and headed to Books-A-Million to pick up the best books ever in the world!!!! (Twilight series – but that’s another post!). We made it to the 2nd row when I heard something I was unsure of. The foul smell that followed gave me a clear indicator of what it was, and who (my dear child?!?!) it was coming from. I picked Cookie up, where a warm surprise greeted my arm about the time I put it under her butt. Thanks!!!! I held her out with 2 arms and sprinted (as all pregnant girls do, so gracefully) to the car. There was no spare outfit! I took care of business, and then came upon a package I had received earlier in the day. It just happened to be a pillowcase dress I’d “won” off of eBay, for Cookie! Voila! Problem solved. After another trip back into the store, we picked up Smartie and TooCool, and headed home.

Little did I realize, home didn’t mean squat as far as comfort. Around 10 p.m., and after 5 more “lovely” diapers, I thought I’d use my awesome motherly judgment, and give Cookie a ½ tsp of children’s immodium. Would a doctor recommend it? No, but I’m a mother, and SO much smarter than doctors these days. Never mind the fact it takes like a mint rear end (I know, I’ve tasted it….pretty bad). I sat on the kitchen floor with her and got about ¼ tsp of liquid in her mouth before she decided to repay me….by vomiting hot, curdled milk all about me (hair, shirt, hands, arms, legs, etc.). Then SHE cries! What? Shouldn’t I be crying? I’m the one covered in PUKE! I get the kitchen cleaned up, and by the time Peabody rolls in around 10:30 we’re in the tub. Day one down!