It’s just *gotta* be a good day when you wake up, covered in pee, that *doesn’t* belong to you (thank you Duke, and those lame-o UNnight-time pullups!)…..then roll outta bed to get cleaned up, *only* to learn you can’t walk – because remember yesterday? All those squats, presses, curls & extensions – so you could become the *monstrous* in-human-looking body-builder that’s inside you? Raawwwrrrr!! I mean, *ahem* (unenthusiastic) Yeaaaahhhhh.
Walk with swagger (?) to the kitchen for some sort of medication, only to continually imagine you’re being eaten alive? Oh wait. You *are* being eaten alive - by ants? Sense of déjà vu (see devil-bug post). Look down in kitchen floor to see what looks to be a ball of a furry mass, some dead animal of sorts, with black fur? Blackish fur with orangey parts? Ooooohhhhh…..like when the kids played ‘chef’ last night, & threw a buffalo wing in the floor because it was far *too* tiresome for their delicate arms to aim it at the trashcan 2 feet away? Guess they take after Byron. Ant massacre ensues.
Try to go back to bed, set down drink, then knock it outta the park (or in the hallway, at least) when I shake the new, clean blanket out. The now dirty, Dr. Pepper covered blanket. Oh, and the DP covered floor. How I’ve managed to get through all this and not say 1 foul word could only be God’s work. I’ve only been awake 15 minutes, and I can already tell….it’s gonna be a *fantabulous* day.
Think I’ll sneak out and go fishing before anyone else wakes up.
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