Friday, April 10, 2009

Payback's hell.

Ahhh, maturity. It takes longer to develop in some of us. In others, we mature quickly, only to relapse when we hit our 30-somethings. That’s the case for myself (VERY mature mother of 4, and church secretary), and some of the other *wonderful special fabulous* workers at Mother’s Day Out.Yesterday, after all the insane children were napping from the Easter Party fun, some teachers wondered what they’d do with the additional confetti filled Easter eggs. A while later a plan was concocted to smash said eggs in the car of another *super* MDO teacher. Hey, it was completely fair game…the car was unlocked! Although I wasn’t specifically involved in this “attack”, I did take pictures of the aftermath for fun. Wait…don’t go just yet. Look at the pictures below, and then keep reading.

The day went on. I stayed late at the office working on stuff for the Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services. Then we attended the Maundy Thursday service, went home, got kids to bed, and relaxed. I hopped online and rehashed the days’ activities with a friend. We got to talking about how we’d like to work as a team to pull a prank on yet another innocent bystander. Then we figured ‘why pick on the innocent’? Let’s get someone who needs to be messed with…say, like the Pastor? He’d gotten each one of us with different pranks here and there over the last few weeks (April Fools, etc.) and we came to the decision that payback was necessary.

An hour later, say 11 p.m.-ish, I was on my way to pick up my friend. We had the car loaded with toilet paper and plastic forks, because that’s how we roll. I must say we did a heck of a job….but didn’t go too overboard. This IS Good Friday, after all. We left shortly thereafter, and felt right proud of ourselves. Then lightening struck! Yet another idea!!!! We returned 10 minutes later with a camera to take pictures of the mayhem. We left the 2nd time, and went to the gas station to get some drinks. Then ANOTHER idea hit us! EGGS! Again, we didn’t do anything horrible. We just smashed the eggs IN the carton, and left the carton open on the front porch in front of the door. We also rubbed egg yolks all over our hands and made hand prints on the door, because we’re mature that way. Then trouble struck….

That time we saw a shadow cross the doorway (while our hands were in the act) and we HIGHTAILED it like NOBODY’S business. I almost fell trying to run down the hill (their yard is slanted), my pants fell down, AND a roll of tape I had in my waist band ended up stuck to my butt. Niiiicccce. My friend ran the other way, AWAY from the getaway car. I had already decided I’d sacrifice her to save myself. After all, I could always return to get her later!

We finally left and headed home. I loaded all the pictures on Facebook in the wee midnight hours, and we waited. Nothing. We just *knew* we’d get a hate call this morning, and would go back over and clean up. Nothing. Numerous phone calls to their cells and home, still nothing. A bazillion text messages and Facebook posts, and again…nothing. Then my friend drove past their house and saw the mess had already been taken care of. A bit later she was driving around again and even passed them on the road, waving and smiling. No response. Just ignored her and drove away. After that we felt slightly bad, especially after I found out the victim’s mother would be coming in today for the Easter weekend.

So what did we do? Send stupid flowers with a card that said, “We are sorry, but not too sorry. Signed – The Instigators”.

Look, it could’ve been WAY worse:

1. We could’ve thrown the toilet paper UP in the tree branches. Instead we just wrapped it around the trunks.

2. We could’ve wet the toilet paper after wrapping the stuff, making it that much harder to get rid of. Nearly impossible.

3. When professionals fork a house, they put them in random spots all over the yard so you’re finding them for weeks. We took the time, and care, to put them in a straight line leading from the getaway car to the door, and then made an extra “v”. Nothing over the top.

4. Lastly, we could’ve done WAY worse with the egg business. Instead we left them neatly tucked in their carton, albeit slightly damaged…and only left handprints on the door. We didn’t smash them about on their house like they were going out of style. A note was even left on the kitchen window from Jesus and Us (because Jesus IS always with us, right?) that said “Jesus was here, and so were we.”

Today is Good Friday, the day that Jesus was hung on the cross and laid in the tomb. Everyone who’s anyone knows the story…that Jesus rose from the dead on the 3rd day, and FORGAVE all those morons who did horrible things to Him. He died so that we could be forgiven and saved. ‘Nuff said. Praise be to God!!!!

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