Thursday, January 8, 2009

25 Things

I was acutally tagged to do this on my facebook account, but I thought I'd share it with you wonderful people as well. Since I can't say ALOT about myself on here, at least for another month or two, I can give you this information:

1. If I didn’t have scoliosis, I would be 6’2”, instead of a measly 5’10” (no offense to the vertically challenged out there!)

2. I’ve always wanted to join the circus (imagine that!).

3. People piss me off so much these days, I think about biting my tongue off at least twice daily.

4. I know I shouldn’t get any more tattoos, since 10 is OBVIOUSLY enough, but I’m sure I will.

5. I got to see the Leeza show twice in REAL LIFE. This one girl brought her new product – a pump that you put on your lips a few times a day to make them fatter. Impressive, I tell you, impressive.

6. I’ve been told I “live an amazing life”. Sounds like someone wants a favor.

7. I’ve been skydiving twice.

8. Recently numerous innocent photo-girls were maimed and disfigured beyond all recognition because of a pregnancy-induced-psychotic-episode.

9. In March, I will once again be bald, and the mother of my 4th and FINAL child.

10. I could live at Six Flags.

11. I thrive on chaos.

12. I only take halfway-decent pictures on my left side. The right side (lazy eye, flared nostril, SERIOUS issues) of my face doesn’t cooperate with how great the left side thinks it is. I always have to feel my face to see which side the beauty mark is on, and that’s the one for the camera!

13. One time I was on a bridge in grid-lock traffic in Dallas. Smoke started coming up around me, and I felt sorry for the poor fool whose car overheated on the highway below me. About 2 minutes later my hood caught on fire. It was MY stupid car.

14. I’m pro-plastic-surgery like you cannot even BEGIN to imagine.

15. I’m also pro-medication. I’m quite certain there’s a medicine to fix any ailment. None of this “Oh, I’m so womanly I’m doing this birth crap au-natural.” Give me a flipping break.

16. When I was little I wanted to grow up and marry PeeWee Herman. Now THAT’S an aspiration!

17. Tomorrow I’ll have purple hair. Take THAT! UH!18. I love me some crème brulee.

19. Last year I was in an unfortunate accident called “eyelid-superglued-to-the-eyeball”.

20. I hate mini-vans. I know hate is a strong word, but I truly HATE mini-vans.

21. I never graduated high school. I stopped 2 months into my senior year and then got my GED. I started college the following year like I would have had I stayed in school.

22. My arms are double-jointed. And so is my brain.

23. Almost everything I own is black or brown. Hey, black is slimming!

24. I have some crazy-cow-lick business going on in the front of my hair, which helps my perfect my poof (when I have hair).

25. I can rap Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” like nobody’s business.

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